Keep your friends Christian and your children Christianer

Are you worried that your children and friends will burn in an eternal Hell for not accepting Me as their personal Lord and Savior? Sure you are. I will return soon, and if you, or those close to you, have not accepted Me, they will not be spared by my wrath! They will burn in the pits of Hell for all of eternity. So, as sort of an instructional video, please watch how this mother handles her son's claim of Atheism.

This mom is SO right! Once you tell a bishop you give yourself to Dad and Me, there is no turning back. You can't just simply change your mind! You told the bishop already! Too, late, dude! And if your child claims Atheism, threaten church EVERY week to prove to them Dad and I are real. Cause we all know- if at first your child doesn't like church, just keep going and going and going. They will learn to love it!

Lastly, and most importantly, if you get desperate for your child to not be damned to eternal Hell, threaten them with no presents on Christmas! Because, as this mom says so perfectly, Christmas, is about Jesus Christ (Yours truly, of course) which logically equals presents. When I died for all of your sins, what I was really hoping to accomplish is a yearly gift giving holiday, with presents for everyone who believes in Me! I would say mission certainly accomplished.