Apparently, criminals only eat pizza

I think I may move from my lovely, palatial estate made of clouds to the wonderful suburbs of Cincinnati. If you are lucky enough to live near the 'Nati, you may get to see the pictures of deadbeat parents on your next pizza box! If there is one thing that I always wanted to see right before I eat pizza, it is most certainly pictures of parents who are delinquent on child support! Man, this supreme pizza is going to taste amazing now! It is really the logic of the idea that I am most impressed with:

The idea came to Cynthia Brown, executive director of the Butler County Child Enforcement Agency, while she was ordering pizza.

"It suddenly dawned on me that most people running from the law don't eat out, they order pizza," said Brown, whose county is north of Cincinnati.

That makes perfect sense!!! I would say that almost every worker in any restaurant in the country knows the face of EVERY deadbeat parent. No question about it. So OF COURSE these criminal parents would stay out of any possible food establishment. So if they aren't going to restaurants, they MUST be ordering food in. And if they are ordering food in, that means only one conclusion!!! PIZZA!!! Either Cincinnati is so backwards that there are no other food joints that deliver (hmmmm...... Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Indian, Mexican, Meals on Wheels- you are telling me NONE of these deliver?) or maybe deadbeat parents just simply LOVE pizza.

Either way, Cynthia Brown, you are a genius! In fact, you are so smart, that you have just been elected mayor of Boston! Congratulations. Your first order of business as the mayor is to watch out for the bombs made of burritos! They lurk at every Mexican food stand in your beautiful city!