Ted Haggard, the normal, responsible HETEROSEXUAL former of president of the National Association of Evangelicals said yesterday that he has been "healed" and is no longer homosexual."His three weeks of counseling, in Phoenix felt like "three years' worth of analysis and treatment," but now "Jesus is starting to put me back together," Haggard wrote in the e-mail message"
First off, I had nothing to do with taking him apart or putting him together. Second, why would anyone think he was a homosexual in the first place? All he did was have a gay relationship with a male prostitute for 3 years. MAYBE if the relationship went on for 9 or 10 years, then he MIGHT be gay. But having sex with a dude for only 3 years?? That's just a phase. Especially when you are a full grown adult with a wife and kids. Totally normal. Sometimes, you may need to have gay sex hundreds and hundreds of times before you realize that it might not be your thing, just like Ted Haggard did.
Sex with dudes and meth has never really been my thing, but listen, Christians, I am glad you worship me and send me tons of cash and all, but could you try and not be so insane? It's starting to bring down my street cred. I am all about partying, naked women, hot tubbing, TV and sports. If you want to punish people for having a little fun, keep my name out of your mouth. But don't forget to keep that money flowin' up to heaven! I didn't die for all of your sins without the promise of long term financial wealth. J-Dog wants to put some new shoes on my brand new Lambo! I may make a lot of money, but I spend a lot of money too. BALLIN!
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