Man on Earth says he is Jesus Christ; is wrong (but is also an insane genius)

Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda (or J Lu for short) is claiming to be Jesus Christ (Me). Pretty funny, J Lu. Still only one Jesus. When I come back down to earth, I will be myself. I will not hop into the body of a 60 year old dude. How am I supposed to get all the chicks lookin like that? I will come back as chiseled as ever, since I have a personal chef, and my style has always been on point. Anyway, J Lu is running a huge church, and getting people to buy in to the fact that he is Me. Literally.

"I don’t have one Rolex,” de Jesus Miranda said, “I have 3 because they want to give it to me. It's like that woman that came to Jesus with the expensive perfume and put it on his feet. He didn’t reject it, so when someone gives me a watch or a gift, I receive it. I like them too, they're nice."

BALLIN!! I have a feeling this guy is pretty much insane, but at least he knows how to BALL! I as well do not have one Rolex. I have 3. And by 3 I mean 3 Million. To steal a line from J Lu - I like them too, they're are nice. Especially all iced out.

“He destroyed my family,” said former member Regina Albarracin, who left the church about 5 years ago. Her husband soon followed but their son Alvaro remained to become one of the ministry's biggest financial backers, donating more than $1 million to the church.

This bitch is just jealous. She just wanted the $1 million to herself. Man, J Lu sure knows how to get that money! He also convinced his followers to get "666" tattoos, since he claims there is no devil or hell. Wrong and Wrong, but whatever bro. Keep doing that preachin thing and gettin them Rolexes. Don't hate the preacher, hate his 3 Rolexes and millions of dollars, and thousands of crazy, devoted followers. You know this! BALLIN!!